After hanging out with Scott at his place, he had to meet up his friend in a bar, I have nothing to do at night so I went with him. I guess I am really not a spontaneous person, for the day my plan was just to hang out with Scott playing Wii at his place, so when I was in the bar I really feel like I was out of the element. I feel like I wasn’t mentally prepared. It might sound silly but every time I go to a bar or any places I might be meeting new people I need to mentally prepare myself – remind myself to keep a smile on my face, be open to the idea of talk to strangers, don’t be a wallflower, be aware of the present of people and the environment instead of drifting in space thinking about Apple or anything that pop in my head, etc. Since I didn’t prepared myself this time, you might think “Uh-oh, Harry probably end up acting all socially awkward and didn’t enjoy the time and end up going home being all sad about it~” Well, that didn’t happen, I was actually doing okay, I was drinking, I was dancing a little, I was keeping a smile on my face and chatting with Scott and his friend. But of course old habit can’t change in one night. I am still the same silly geeky person. When something unexpected happened, it’s not like I know how to handle it….

While we were dancing, there’s this one cute guy walk next to us and he asked me if the door right behind me was an exit, does it open to somewhere. I said I dunno, I don’t come here often so I don’t have any idea. He smiled and then just dancing next to us. Scott immediately giving me an eye and telling me to talk to him. Here’s what went through my mind – I swear to you I am really that silly and stupid – I was thinking he was asking me a question only, why would anyone think there is more to it? The guy danced a little more and than start fixing the cushion of the sofa behind him. His action is just very odd to me, so I asked him, what are you doing? are you looking for something there? He smiled and said no, he need more space to dance. Scott was giving me even more “look”~ I was seriously puzzled and thinking what? I just thought he’s odd so I asked. After sometimes of dancing and he smiled at me and I smiled back, and still wasn’t aware what exactly is going on, he walked passed me, smiled and left.

The whole time my simple mind was thinking that the cute guy only talk to me because I was next to the door. It never occurred to me that there’s anything more to it. To me he’s just one of the many cute guys in this place, why would my friend want me to talk to him, that’s silly~ It wasn’t until after my friends were gone then I start questioning the event and my non-sense logic – why would anyone come up to someone and ask if the door is an exit in a place like this? and when he got the answer that it is not he just simply stay around and dance? if he was actually looking for an exit he would have continue looking! So it could have been a line to talk to me? that the guy walk over to this area of the place to talk to me? only by this time I realize how silly I am for not noticing there could have been more immediately. I guess I was neglected for so long that I never recognize anything anymore.

I wasn’t upset at myself for being stupid or anything afterward. I actually was feeling pretty okay. I was flattered. Recognizing what it was is a feel good moment that is good enough for me already. To have a cute guy talked to me and there is a chance that he was there talking to me because he wanted to talk to me is way more than i expected for an unexpected outing. Maybe I am pathetic to be so easily satisfied but after waiting for something to happen for so long, I am too jaded to believe.

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